Who hasn't had that "insert foot in mouth" feeling? Yeah, I have it more often than I would like to admit. Words have a power that is scary sometimes, but are also very soothing to the soul.
Last night my hubby and I were going to bed and I was reading my book, Having a Mary Spirit, for my Bible Study group. I confess that I am a little bit behind, but that doesn't really matter, right? :) I started reading the chapter "Speaking Love" and something hit me. I have always thought that my love language is Quality Time because I really do love to spend time with those I love. (But as much as I hate to admit it I never feel filled up after it) After, I read the first half page of the chapter, it hit me... my love language is Words of Affirmation. Joanna (the author) was talking about a difficult day and how she was beginning to think that life would just go on as normal without her. (I laughed out loud when I read that because there are many times that I have felt the same way...) But that day she just happened to get a letter in the mail from a friend that said everything she needed to hear. And it lifted her spirits and helped her through. After I read that I looked at my hubby and said "I do believe that my love language is Words of Affiramtion." I told him that even though I am terrible at communicating out loud... words are so important to me. Which is why I have a card from one of my best friends hanging on my fridge from a few years ago, and why I have almost all of the notes and cards that my hubby and family/friends have given to me. I have the hardest time throwing away things that people have personally written to me (especially when it's something that helps me get through). And maybe that's why my house is full of books. Bookcases in almost every room of the house.
Words hold power that nothing else has. In Proverbs 18:21 it says that, "The tongue has the power of life and death..." I think that is so true. I see it when I speak too harshly to my kids and I see how they deflate. I see it when I speak out of love and they look as if they can conquer the world. Words can take on so many forms, so many meanings. I think that we as faulty people have the ability to twist words to what we think they should mean. I am so guilty of this and my hubby calls me on it all the time. My hubby may be trying to speak to me because it's what I need to hear but all I am hearing is that I am not doing good enough and then I just throw a pity party for one. Maybe the tone of voice that he used wasn't to my liking, who knows... Words... If words of affirmation are my love language I need to stop fighting against them and let them heal my soul, especially when they are trying to help.
Even though I fight against words, sometimes they are the only thing that helps. Proverbs 12:25 "Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." I have an anxious heart a lot... especially when my hubby is traveling. That's when I really see how much he helps with his words. He's not here to talk at night once the kids are sleeping. I find myself texting him A LOT more during the day and when he calls randomly during the day to just say "Hi, I love you" it makes it all worth it. But when my hubby IS home and he sees that I am getting overwhelmed or anxious he reminds me that I am loved and that maybe it's time for me to write. I don't think that a kind word is always meant to be spoken. Writing is my way of calming down my anxious heart. There's no judging when I am writing (well maybe with this blog there is, but I can take it) :) I can just sit and write and get lost in my words and my thoughts and when I'm done I feel lighter. It's a great feeling. Words help me to process whatever it is I am going through, and God meets me there. He whispers to my soul when I am writing.
Words have the power to heal and the power to tear down. If words are so important for me to hear, I need to be so much more intentional about the words that come out of my mouth. Words that I speak to my husband, words that I speak to my kids. How do you use your words during each day?
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