This week has been really rough for me. It's the first of 3 weeks that my hubby will be gone. I am happy that he will be coming home over the weekends before he heads out again, but it's still tough. I tend to freak out over little things, and then the little things BLOW UP into huge things. It's so annoying! I just wish there was a way that I could just not over dramatize things. So after a particularly rough conversation with the hubs on Monday... I opened up my Bible Study on Tuesday from Good Morning Girls and low and behold it was all about marriage. And how to make it the best marriage it can be. That always seems to happen to me. I am having a particularly rough patch and the Lord just puts something in my path that is what I needed to hear at that exact moment. A song, a sermon, kind words from a friend, a Bible Study....It's crazy! But anyway...
Yesterday the study started out with the creation story, and how the Lord has said that everything he created was good.. but one thing was not good. Having man be alone... that was not good in God's eyes. So he created Eve. He created her not to be taken advantage of, or for her to dominate her husband, but as a helper for him. As a side kick. I love this! I tend to take charge a lot just because I want things done my way and in my time. But that's not how God wants things. He wants us to sit back and take things in and have things work in His timing. I desperately need to step back and take in what my hubby says and what he wants at times. Now I am not saying that I am going to be a doormat and have him be the sole decision maker, but I want us to walk side by side through this life making those decisions together. I am going to let him lead more, but I will also help guide the way. We will do it together because that's how it's supposed to be in a marriage!
This morning really spoke to me too. I was just sitting there feeling totally defeated. I felt like I was going crazy...tears flowing again. My mind wouldn't shut off and I was snapping at the kids. I hate when I take it out on them. But I did. Which reminds me I need to talk to them and ask for forgiveness because they really didn't deserve it. I was just defeated... completely and totally depleted. I opened up my Bible App to go to the reading plan for the GMG's study. And one thing they mentioned and that really popped out to me was this: "All satan did was tell Eve lies and she became a believer of those lies." All he has to do is whisper in our ear... tell us lie after lie until we eventually believe it. And then once we believe those lies we will go to those closest to us and make them believe the lies. The master of manipulation at his best. In marriage, manipulation should be thrown out the window. We need to shower each other in love and build each other up... especially when we are at our weakest. We need to be encouraging to our spouse not the opposite.
When doing the GMG studies they use a SOAP outline. (Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer). I love it. It really helps me to dive into the scripture and get the most out of it. I wanted to share my prayer that I wrote out from today because I feel like satan is doing a number on a lot of people not just me, and everyone just believes it because he thrives in the chaos and the lies and it feels "normal". So here's my prayer:
Lord, when my hubby is gone, satan is right there. He is whispering in my ear. SHOUTING in my ear and it is so, so hard to hear anything else. Help me, Lord, to silence satan's voice and shake his hold on me so I can focus on what needs to be fixed... what is truth! With satan yelling at me he is causing unneeded chaos and I am so very tired of the chaos that he brings. Help me to tune him out so that the lies no longer hide the truth. The truth that I love my hubby more than my desire to believe the lies. -Amen-
I just want to encourage all of us... if you feel like you are at the end of your rope and you are drowning from all the shouting that satan is doing... God is there with a life line. He is holding out his hand, just waiting for you to turn away from the chaos. God is so much bigger than anything we will ever face here on earth. I know that sometimes that is hard to believe because we can only see what is right in front of us. But we have to trust that God's got this. I struggle with turning away from the chaos daily, but it is just something that I have to do. Chaos is literally all around me, but I just have to stay on that path set out for me. I have to do my best to tune out all the noise, and grab hold of Jesus and follow Him.
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