Trust

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding.  In all your ways remember him.  Then he will make your paths smooth and straight."

Trust is something that I struggle with.  I have a hard time letting all of myself go to another person.  If I let myself go 100% I will more than likely get hurt.  So I build walls up to protect my heart.  Iron clad walls, that you need a key to get through.  And if you don't have that key or you lose it... it's really tough to get through again. 

I build the walls, and when I read this verse last night I realized that I am also building those walls against God.  I cannot do that!  He is the only one who knows my heart inside and out.  He knows my deepest, darkest fears.  He knows.  So why can't I just trust him with the unknown, with the scary, with the simple, with the complicated?  He has never failed me.  Even at my lowest of lows when I had no idea where to turn... All I had to do what look up.  I ran to him.  He picked me up from the heap that I found myself in.  So why do I still struggle with trusting his plan for my life?

I struggle because I try to do it all on my own.  My walls, although my protection, are also my demise.  I struggle because I need the control.  I am in the passenger seat but I jerk the wheel when I feel uncertainty.  If I give up control... how do I know where I will end up?  That thought alone terrifies me.  I am a planner and when I see that things are not going in the direction that I planned they go... then I get scared.  This is something that I have been trying to work on, but it doesn't seem to be working very well!

This morning I read a couple verses that I will hold in my heart...

Philippians 4:6-7  "Do not worry about anything.  Instead, tell God about everything.  Ask and pray.  Give thanks to him.  Then God's peace will watch over your hearts and your minds because you belong to Christ Jesus.  God's peace can never be completely understood."

Philippians 2:3 "God is working in you.  He want your plans and your acts to be in keeping with his good purpose."

Proverbs 16:9 "People may make plans in their minds, but the Lord decides what they will do."

Proverbs 29:25 "If you are afraid of people, it will trap you.  But if you trust in the Lord, he will keep you safe."