The Choice to Unfollow

I have been itching to write a post for the past few days, and just haven't been able to figure out what it is that I want to write.  I started one last night, and I just wasn't able to tie everything together.  I was feel discouraged, but then we went to church.  And I wanted to share what our sermon was about...

So last night was the last sermon in a series called Follow. It was all about when we are tempted to Unfollow Jesus.  In this life there are so many things that can happen that will give us the choice either to continue on the path that we have been walking or click the unfollow button and go another way.  I see it most prevalent in marriages today.  It seems like it's the norm to just click the "divorce" button the second a speed bump comes along.  One or both parties just doesn't have the drive to fight and make it work.  It's really sad to me, because on the other side of that speed bump (which could feel like a mountain when you are going through it) is renewal.  There is a fresh perspective, and you realize how worth it all was to fight through the storm.  We realize that our God is a God of second chances.  And just because we mess up in life, in our marriage... that does not mean that we won't get a do over.  My hubby and I are living proof of that, and maybe in posts to come I will share more. **Side note: I do realize that there are times when a marriage just won't work no matter how much you fight. **

But anyway, back to the sermon from last night...

Our pastor was talking about all the things that pop up in life that will tempt us to want to "unfollow" Jesus.  He gave few warning signs as examples... and I am sure there are more, but I will just give what he mentioned...

1. The Bible is boring.  
How many times have I cracked open the Bible only to feel like I am reading nothing.  In the past I haven't been able to make the Bible come alive to me.  It was so dry and, well... boring.  But in the past few years, I have been able to come to the Bible with refreshed eyes and a yearning to actually learn what the Bible says and truly understand it for myself.  It's a learning process, just like everything else in life.

2. Church is not a priority.
When my hubby and I were in the thick of a major storm, church just wasn't even on the radar.  We were too busy with everything else that we were dealing with.  We couldn't even muster up the energy to get presentable to go to church and be fed.  I am so glad that we snapped out of that.  I crave going to church, and having the fellowship of friends, and singing praises to my Jesus and just being thankful for his promises to me, and my family.

3. Communicating with God is non-existent.

4. A life even led to serious doubt.
I think that this one is the biggest "causer" of doubt and clicking the "unfollow" button.  You start to question God when really bad things happen.  You lose a cherished loved one, a spouse has an affair and you aren't sure how to overcome that, you lose a child, a best friend gets cancer... all of these and more would cause a lot of people to run.  I could never fathom running.  When major life events happen in my life I get mad, and I get mad at God. But you know what?  Just like I tell my kids "I can take it" when they are made at me... I believe that's what God says when we are mad at him.  He wraps his arms around us and tells us that He can take it.  I rely more on God when I am mad at Him than at any other time in my life.

5. It's inconvenient.
How can you fit God in your life when you are so busy?  I feel like in these days of technology... it's a lot easier to fit God in.  With iPhones and iPads everywhere we look, it's so easy to carry the entire Bible with us in our pocket without taking up anymore space.  It's so much easier to just pull out your phone, and read the Bible while you are waiting at an appointment or anytime.  I find that I am saying little prayers all day long.  Yes, sometimes He may seem inconvenient when you are going through something major, but that's when He is trying to teach you something.

6. Complacency or General Drift

When I find that I have the choice to either follow Jesus or unfollow Him, I never doubt my faith in Him.  I look back on my life and I see that even though the path is full of pot holes and healed scars I wouldn't be the person I am without Him.  Honestly, I am afraid of what life would be like without Him.  I realize that there are people that don't believe in God, and see that their life is "better" for it, and that is the choice they have made.  I am just saying that in MY life... I will always choose Jesus.  No matter what comes my way.

Our pastor went on to give a few things you'll learn about yourself when you choose to stick with Jesus...

1. You will develop unshakeable faith!.... (despite all the hard stuff)
James 1:2-4 says "My brothers and sisters, when you have many kind of troubles, you should be full of joy because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience.  Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do.  Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need."

2. You will build an extraordinary strength.
In the moments of pain and strife will you have the courage to step out in faith and trust in God?  To trust that he will meet you and give you the strength that you need to continue moving forward?  For me... that answer will forever and always be a resounding YES!

3. You will experience life.
John 10:10 "A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life - life in all its fullness."

Even though we all face hard times we can't let that steal the promises that God has given to us.  He is the promise of life, and of hope. He IS the God of second chances.  I can only picture it like this... when my kids go through a tough time, or continually make the same bad choices over and over again...I will be there to guide them through that time, loving on them the best way that I know how. I won't ever tell them they are hopeless and I can't do anything more for them.  That's the same thing that God does for us. When we go through rocky times here God doesn't turn his back on us, he guides us the best way he knows how.  We feel the pain and strife so we can learn from it and be stronger because of it. 

So, what ways do you feel tempted to hit that "Unfollow" button?  

My Love

I am so amazed as to how much difference a week can make!  Let me explain... My hubby has been gone quite a lot this past year and it has been rough.  Lots of lonely nights at home, lots of tears shed, and a TON of anxiety.  Last week, that was the worst one of all. I don't know what came over me, but I was just in a really dark place.  Looking back on it, I shudder just thinking about how I was feeling and where I was at mentally and spiritually.  My hubby and I ended up having a terribly huge fight on Tuesday night.  I felt hopeless, and was just ready to throw in the towel to everything.  I couldn't even bear to take another step forward.  Friday... it couldn't come fast enough!  Let me tell you, it's really hard to resolve anything when you are in two separate states!  But the weekend was full of a lot of healing and reconciliation and I am so very thankful that we had the weekend to recover before he left again on Monday.

Now, this week on the other hand has been a complete 180.  As soon as my hubby left I felt the anxiety sky rocket and I immediately texted him and one of my best friends to pray for me.  That was the best decision I could've made.  This week, I am feeling confident and very much at peace with where we are in life.  It could partly be because I know right now my hubby will be home for a while after this trip is done... But more importantly it's because I changed my mindset, and I reached out to those I know would lift me up.  I looked to God for my strength, I dove into the Word, and I have tried being as encouraging and positive to my hubby as possible.

One verse that caught my attention was Romans 8:6, and it says "If people's thinking is controlled by the sinful self, there is death.  But if their thinking is controlled by the Spirit, there is life and peace."  Last week, I let my sinful self take control of my life and I seriously felt as if I was full of darkness.  It was scary and very lonely. But this week I am letting the Spirit control my thinking.  I am letting Him be in the drivers sear and I truly believe that He is the reason my week is going better.  The shouting that was happening in my ears last week, has been silenced this week!  What a blessing.

This week I decided that I was going to send my hubby little encouraging notes for him to open up each day of the week.  (I got the idea from The Time Warp Wife.)  I wanted him to know that even though he is not here with me physically he is still on my mind and I am praying for him continually.  I just want to pour positivity, love, support, scripture into him while he is gone.  It's hard enough being apart.. I don't need to make it harder by being negative and making things worse.  My hubby works hard for our little family, providing for us so I can stay home with our kids.  I get to raise them and teach them to be the best little people they can be!  So while he is away I want to be a blessing to him, and I want to reinforce to him that I love him with all that I am.  I need to go all out and pour love into him and let him know that I am here no matter what!

My goal is not to be the picture perfect Proverbs 31 wife.  Because let's be honest, that is impossible!  No one can be that!  But I want to start and to continue to strive to be as much of her as I can be.  I don't want to live in the darkness that my sinful self brings.  I want to live in the hope and the peace that only God can bring.  My goal... is to love on my hubby with all that I am.  So, I will end with my favorite part of Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 31:25-31
"She puts on strength and honor as if they were her clothes.  She can laugh at the days that are coming.  She speaks wisely.  She teaches faithfully.  She watches over family matters.  She is busy all the time. Her children stand up and call her blessed.  Her husband also rises up, and he praises her.  He says, 'Many women do noble things.  But you are better than all others.'"

A push in the right direction...

This week has been really rough for me.  It's the first of 3 weeks that my hubby will be gone.  I am happy that he will be coming home over the weekends before he heads out again, but it's still tough.  I tend to freak out over little things, and then the little things BLOW UP into huge things.  It's so annoying!  I just wish there was a way that I could just not over dramatize things.  So after a particularly rough conversation with the hubs on Monday... I opened up my Bible Study on Tuesday from Good Morning Girls and low and behold it was all about marriage.  And how to make it the best marriage it can be.  That always seems to happen to me.  I am having a particularly rough patch and the Lord just puts something in my path that is what I needed to hear at that exact moment.  A song, a sermon, kind words from a friend, a Bible Study....It's crazy!  But anyway...

Yesterday the study started out with the creation story, and how the Lord has said that everything he created was good.. but one thing was not good.  Having man be alone... that was not good in God's eyes.  So he created Eve.  He created her not to be taken advantage of, or for her to dominate her husband, but as a helper for him.  As a side kick.  I love this!  I tend to take charge a lot just because I want things done my way and in my time.  But that's not how God wants things.  He wants us to sit back and take things in and have things work in His timing.  I desperately need to step back and take in what my hubby says and what he wants at times.  Now I am not saying that I am going to be a doormat and have him be the sole decision maker, but I want us to walk side by side through this life making those decisions together.  I am going to let him lead more, but I will also help guide the way.  We will do it together because that's how it's supposed to be in a marriage!

This morning really spoke to me too.  I was just sitting there feeling totally defeated.  I felt like I was going crazy...tears flowing again.  My mind wouldn't shut off and I was snapping at the kids.  I hate when I take it out on them.  But I did.  Which reminds me I need to talk to them and ask for forgiveness because they really didn't deserve it.  I was just defeated... completely and totally depleted.  I opened up my Bible App to go to the reading plan for the GMG's study.  And one thing they mentioned and that really popped out to me was this: "All satan did was tell Eve lies and she became a believer of those lies." All he has to do is whisper in our ear... tell us lie after lie until we eventually believe it.  And then once we believe those lies we will go to those closest to us and make them believe the lies.  The master of manipulation at his best.  In marriage, manipulation should be thrown out the window.  We need to shower each other in love and build each other up... especially when we are at our weakest.   We need to be encouraging to our spouse not the opposite.

When doing the GMG studies they use a SOAP outline. (Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer).  I love it.  It really helps me to dive into the scripture and get the most out of it.  I wanted to share my prayer that I wrote out from today because I feel like satan is doing a number on a lot of people not just me, and everyone just believes it because he thrives in the chaos and the lies and it feels "normal".  So here's my prayer:

Lord, when my hubby is gone, satan is right there.  He is whispering in my ear.  SHOUTING in my ear and it is so, so hard to hear anything else.  Help me, Lord, to silence satan's voice and shake his hold on me so I can focus on what needs to be fixed... what is truth!  With satan yelling at me he is causing unneeded chaos and I am so very tired of the chaos that he brings.  Help me to tune him out so that the lies no longer hide the truth.  The truth that I love my hubby more than my desire to believe the lies. -Amen-

I just want to encourage all of us... if you feel like you are at the end of your rope and you are drowning from all the shouting that satan is doing... God is there with a life line.  He is holding out his hand, just waiting for you to turn away from the chaos.  God is so much bigger than anything we will ever face here on earth.  I know that sometimes that is hard to believe because we can only see what is right in front of us.  But we have to trust that God's got this.  I struggle with turning away from the chaos daily, but it is just something that I have to do.  Chaos is literally all around me, but I just have to stay on that path set out for me.  I have to do my best to tune out all the noise, and grab hold of Jesus and follow Him.

Intentionally Focused - The Mind

I mentioned before that I am doing the Intentionally Focused study from Good Morning Girls.  It has been really good, and pretty much right on for what I have been needing to hear.  I just finished up week 3 which was about the mind.  

The memory verse was Philippians 4:8 "...always think about what is true.  Think about what is noble, right, and pure.  Think about what is lovely and worthy of respect.  If anything is excellent or worthy of praise, think about those things."  (NIrV)

This really hit me today when I read it.  I love the question in the study that went along with this verse. It said, "Philippians 4:8 is a great filter system for our mind. (We use our mind to filter what our mouth says, but do we actually have a filter for our thoughts?  Not usually...) Each time a thought pops into our head, we can run it through the characteristics mentioned in this verse.  If it doesn't filter through one of these areas - it needs to leave our mind.  In which area of your thinking do your thoughts often get stuck?  Stop and pray, asking God for help to focus your mind on the things He calls us to." (I added the italics).

My mind constantly thinks about worries, about the what if's or why's.  My mind rarely thinks about what is true, what is praiseworthy, what is lovely.  I'd about 75% of the time I am thinking about all the opposite things.  Some days I just wish that I could flip a switch and all of the sudden just see everything clearer because it is absolutely exhausting.  I need to think of the promises that God has given to me. My thoughts tend to get stuck on the lies.  So, I need to start at the beginning.  "Always think about what is true..."  I need to breathe that verse into my life.  When I feel like there is something I am thinking about that may not pass, I need to throw it out.  But how do I do that?  I pray, I give it to God, and I pray some more.  I talk to my hubby, a trusted friend letting them know that I am struggling with untruths.  

I am challenging myself to focus on what is true.  If that means that I write Phil 4:8 and plaster it all over my house, then that is what i will do until it is written on my heart!  I need to start each day with the promise that the Lord won't leave me... cracking open my Bible (or Bible App - whichever is handy) and just soaking in what He has to tell me.  Starting the day off in truth is better than the latter...Feeling defeated before the day even begins.  I should really start my days like this...

 

And then once this prayer has been said... this is what I want...

I want to be feared by the things that are not from God.  I want them to know that I will no longer believe the lies that I am not good enough, or that I am failing at being a wife and mother, or that I should always question certain things that I know deep down are not true.  I need to recognize when I am not at peace that is when the devil is whispering in my ear trying to wreck my faith, my trust, my love.  I need my mind to be set on God and filled with peace.  It's all about control.  Who do I want at the drivers seat?  Do I want to be at the drivers seat and go in my own direction?  Do I want the devil at the drivers seat, showing me all the things that take me farther away from God?  Or do I want God to be in the drivers seat?  I will pick God.  He is the only one who can truly give me the joy and peace that my mind craves.

So, where is it that your mind gets stuck?  Is it believing the lies that are whispered everywhere?  It is hard to think about the blessings of life?  It is hard to think about things that are worthy of respect?  Whatever it is that causes you to be stuck, I challenge you to put a game plan together and put it into action.  It's time to overcome what leaves us feeling stuck and hopeless and cling to who gives us hope and peace.

 

 

Breathing in His Promises...

I think in today's day and age it is so easy for us to rush, rush, rush without a second thought about it.  We feel like we have these unattainable lists that need to get checked off and the faster that we can get through it the faster we'll be done.  But in reality that is a lie, because as soon as we check one thing off five more things are added to the bottom of the list!  God does not want us to be rushing through this life.  When we rush, we miss out on so much.  We miss out on the promises that He has for us, we miss out on our family, our kids, our LIFE!  It's time to stop and breathe in His promises.

This morning I was "mommy monster" as I was trying to get things ready for breakfast, and didn't want anyone getting in my way.  My daughter wanted me to make French Toast Muffins, my son didn't want those (even though he loves them)... and I was getting really frustrated.  I have a headache from kids being awake last night and just not sleeping well in general.  So instead of breathing Him in to calm me down I just went straight to "mommy monster".  I quickly realized this is NOT how I wanted my day to go so after the muffins were in the oven, I took my cup of coffee and went straight to the rocking chair in the living room to start my day over.  I started over with God.  I breathed Him in.  My attitude changed, and was calm and refocused.

Proverbs 3:5, 6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Do not depend on your own understanding.  In all your ways remember him.  Then he will make your paths smooth and straight."

We are not meant to face this life alone. We are not meant to live according to our check lists.  We are supposed to go through life trusting that God has our back.  Trusting that He is in the drivers seat.  Granted, not everything is smooth and straight every moment of every day...it's ok when there are days that our check list collect dust.  Knowing that I have God in my corner is enough to let me ride out the bumps, and tackle that list another time.  Once we have tasted the goodness of God, how can we leave that?  His promises and grace are more that I can fathom, and I would be terrified to live a life without holding Him near.  

Yes, storms will rise. The path won't always be peachy keen, but God has us through it all.  We just need to lean into him and find our rest.  The Lord rejoices when we rejoice and weeps when we weep.  But through it all, He's got you.  

Breathe Him in daily.

A whisper or a yell...

There are so many times that we wonder... is this where the Lord wants me to go?  I wish that he would just send me a sign, yell in my face, do SOMETHING... Most of the time it's a gentle prompting, and quiet whisper to your soul, not loud and in your face.  I tend to feel those gentle promptings and then ignore them because they make me uncomfortable or I just don't want to think of what would happen if I followed through on that prompting.  And then usually if it's something that the Lord really wants me to do... it gets louder and louder and louder until He is yelling in my face.

I had one of these experiences this weekend at church.  We were sitting in "big church" getting ready to listen to the sermon.  And the first quote the pastor say was "You have no idea what hangs in the balance with a simple decision."  Hmm.. And then a little later he says, "A simple step can have a profound ripple effect."  A little more "hmm's" and shifting in our seats.  And the crowning achievement, I was eating a dove chocolate candy and the quote on the wrapper was "Big risks, Big rewards"!  Seriously?!  What is going on?  What is the Lord preparing me for?  A big decision obviously... I guess it's my time to take that first step of faith and see what it's all about...

I love the quote above "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."  When do we ever see the whole staircase?  Like NEVER! We are always taking steps of faith.  When you get married...you are taking a step of faith that this is the right person, when you have kids, when you moves jobs or states... everything is a step of faith.  There are unknowns all around, but the only solid constant is the staircase... God.  He is the only constant in our lives.  The one person that will be there to help pick up the pieces of a storm or rejoice with us in the good times.

So what is it that God is calling you to?  Do you have a staircase that you have been standing at the bottom of just too afraid to take that first step?  I encourage you to take the risk and see the reward that comes from it!  You won't be disappointed.

Dear Younger Me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An-Im0LL0XU

How many times to you just wish you could go back in time to talk to your younger self. Give yourself some advice... you know how to get over some of the bumps and rocky times. Allow yourself to make some wiser choices. I think about that often. But then I realize that if I do that I wouldn't be who I am supposed to be today. Regardless, I really enjoy this song....

I also highly recommend their CD...
http://www.amazon.com/Welcome-To-The-New-MercyMe/dp/B00IJBAYD0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398955848&sr=8-1&keywords=mercy+me+welcome+to+the+new