They say the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. This little muscle is used for so much. It can be used to encourage and to be used for good, but it can also be used for utter destruction...
Why is it so much easier for us to think of all the wrong things to say instead of all the right things?
We say things that tear each other down faster than we can think of things to build each other up.
Most people have a filter that helps them realize... "Hey now! Stop right there! You will instantly regret saying that if you do..." But sometimes that filter just isn't on it's "A" game. So you think of a comeback... the words come flying out of your mouth... and before you know it there is no way to take it back. Your filter has failed.. BIG TIME. You have said something terribly wrong and there's nothing... NOTHING you can do about it. So, you just sit in the uncomfortableness of what has just been said, hit your head against the wall, and wish deeply that you can take it back. But you can't. So then there are two choices... 1. Continue saying things while your filter is on the fritz and make it worse or 2. Just zip your lips and STOP. Stop before you have dug a hole that will take FOREVER to get out of.
I tend to keep on going and dig myself a hole and then once the hold is deep enough I jump right on in and pile the dirt on. When my filter fails... It really fails. I just stand there armed and ready. What a horrible thing to do! Be the first on to strike and wound so I am not the first one hurt. Jesus doesn't teach that we should attack with our words or with any other tactic for that matter. We need to respond with love, with respect, with understanding. Proverbs 10:19 says "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Ouch... every time I open my mouth I have the choice to be sinful with my words and tear others down or I can be wise and just zip it. Even though I have an opinion about something, or think of a jab... that does not give me the freedom to say it. It's as simple as that saying that we were taught as kids "If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all." I need to start taking responsibility for what I say instead of just saying something out of frustration.
Learning how to tame my tongue is going to be a hard challenge. But I need to use my tongue to build up my family. At church this past weekend our teaching Pastor Jason Anderson challenged us with finding a word that will help us be a better person this year. He chose "trust" as his word... I think for me I need a few words to help me through this year. "Stillness", "Listen first then speak" (and if after listening you still can't think of anything else to say then keep quiet!), "Just STOP." Ephesians 4:29 says it best "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So not drudging up the past, or saying something to make the person feel as miserable as you feel is NOT wise? Ok got it! Until I am able to be held accountable for my words, my "filter" will continue to fail. So I guess the only place to start is to Confess and then Repent for what has been said. Whether is been out of irritation at my children because they have asked 500 times when we can play outside, or asking them for the 5th time to clean up their toys spread all over the house or saying things out of frustration at my hubby for things totally and completely out of his control (like rush hour traffic which makes him late and RUINS MY plans for the evening)... I need to change... Change my response, change my words, change my body language. Confess and Repent it's the only way to start being free from our sinful selves.
So, I end this with a heartfelt apology to my hubby for saying harsh words out of frustration. I am imperfect and broken. I am, we are, working on building our house with Christ as the foundation. I crack and fail more often than I want to. But with your help, Love, we are able to fill in those cracks and make it stronger because we don't let it crumble. It may be a bit wobbly at times, but God's hand is there holding it up till we get it figured out.
Psalm 19:14 "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
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